Tuesday morning I self harmed for the first time in eight months, and that night I wanted to kill myself…and I honestly couldn’t tell you why.

My friends talked me out of it (then stayed in the room and watched until I cried myself to sleep), but this morning I cut myself again.

I’ve calmed down a bit since, but I still dunno why I feel this way in the first place. I love my job, I have an amazing boyfriend, and I have some of the best people in the world as friends. But…man, I dunno. I just felt as if I didn’t deserve to live anymore.

I’d like to thank everyone for the loving messages I’ve received I really appreciate it, and I’m sorry I caved.

laybesidemeunderwickedskies:

I’m not one to really know how to give advice to people but
This is a photo of my roommate’s arm. Many on tumblr know of her as jeffgavis [ http://jeffgayvis.tumblr.com/ ]
 (She gave me her permission to post this just fyi because I’m posting this to make a point)
After I woke up to find her in the bathroom doing this to herself. I quickly got her to calm down and she kept saying how much she felt like she deserved this and how crappy of a person she was. I cleaned her wounds up. She went to go lay down on her bed. Other than my lame advice I did’t know what to do to cheer her up and I grabbed a bandaid, and drew a smiley on the bandaid, and put it on her wrist. After thinking about it for a second, I then grabbed a few more bandaids. and wrote “You’re awesome” and “Don’t Hurt Yourself”. She smiled
If anyone feels the need to cut themselves and that they’re worthless, please don’t. You honestly make people worry about you and you’re hurting others more than yourself.  
Always know that: 
You’re awesome
c:
Don’t hurt yourself.
You’re loved.
You all have so much to live for.
And if you don’t think you’re loved,
I’ll love you :D
Even if I have no idea who you’re are. I’m always willing to listen.
Throw me a message if you need to vent.

I’ve been having a rough time with my bipolar disorder. Don’t get me wrong - the hypomanic swings are awesome, great, fuckin’ fantastic, but these low swings…yeah…I cut myself again for the first time in eight months. Not to say I had been strong those eight months - I thought about it all the time. I like to consider myself a strong person, seeing as how I’ve been through a lot (although I know others have had it worse), but I guess the lonliness finally got to me. I shattered a glass in the sink, tested the shards out to find which was the sharpest, and cut away. I didn’t know my roommate had just woken up though, so to my surprise (and definitely to her’s), she saw me half-naked, holding a bloody piece of glass. I started laughing and tried to joke it off (…I don’t know how that would’ve even been possible, but I guess I thought it was worth a shot). Once she saw what I did, she got wide-eyed and asked me what I had done. Once again, I started laughing. It was nothing. But it was more than nothing. I had a moment of weakness. She took me over to the bathtub and started pouring peroxide on the cuts, then grabbed a paper towel to wipe it away. I told her no, I wanted it to sting. She said I was talking nonsense and after a while, I gave up and went to lay down. As we were laying on the futon, she told me to hold on. She came back with band-aids and a pen, and stuck these cute little messages on my wrist, and for the first time in a while, I didn’t feel so lonely.

laybesidemeunderwickedskies:

I’m not one to really know how to give advice to people but

This is a photo of my roommate’s arm. Many on tumblr know of her as jeffgavis [ http://jeffgayvis.tumblr.com/ ]

 (She gave me her permission to post this just fyi because I’m posting this to make a point)

After I woke up to find her in the bathroom doing this to herself. I quickly got her to calm down and she kept saying how much she felt like she deserved this and how crappy of a person she was. I cleaned her wounds up. She went to go lay down on her bed. Other than my lame advice I did’t know what to do to cheer her up and I grabbed a bandaid, and drew a smiley on the bandaid, and put it on her wrist. After thinking about it for a second, I then grabbed a few more bandaids. and wrote “You’re awesome” and “Don’t Hurt Yourself”. She smiled

If anyone feels the need to cut themselves and that they’re worthless, please don’t. You honestly make people worry about you and you’re hurting others more than yourself.  

Always know that: 

You’re awesome

c:

Don’t hurt yourself.

You’re loved.

You all have so much to live for.

And if you don’t think you’re loved,

I’ll love you :D

Even if I have no idea who you’re are. I’m always willing to listen.

Throw me a message if you need to vent.

I’ve been having a rough time with my bipolar disorder. Don’t get me wrong - the hypomanic swings are awesome, great, fuckin’ fantastic, but these low swings…yeah…
I cut myself again for the first time in eight months. Not to say I had been strong those eight months - I thought about it all the time. I like to consider myself a strong person, seeing as how I’ve been through a lot (although I know others have had it worse), but I guess the lonliness finally got to me. I shattered a glass in the sink, tested the shards out to find which was the sharpest, and cut away. I didn’t know my roommate had just woken up though, so to my surprise (and definitely to her’s), she saw me half-naked, holding a bloody piece of glass. I started laughing and tried to joke it off (…I don’t know how that would’ve even been possible, but I guess I thought it was worth a shot). Once she saw what I did, she got wide-eyed and asked me what I had done. Once again, I started laughing. It was nothing. But it was more than nothing. I had a moment of weakness. She took me over to the bathtub and started pouring peroxide on the cuts, then grabbed a paper towel to wipe it away. I told her no, I wanted it to sting. She said I was talking nonsense and after a while, I gave up and went to lay down. As we were laying on the futon, she told me to hold on. She came back with band-aids and a pen, and stuck these cute little messages on my wrist, and for the first time in a while, I didn’t feel so lonely.

earthnation:

earthnation:

lol this dumbass moth is flying into my laptop screen lol u dumb moth

IT FLEW UNDER MY FINGER WHILE I WAS TYPING IT JUST COMMITED SUICIDE IT PROBABLY READ THIS POST AND GOT SAD IM SO SORRY MOTH IM SORRY U DIED BY MY HAND R.I.P U WERE ONE CHILL MOTH

anythingphotography:

Mind-Bending Photo-Manipulations by Erik Johansson

Erik Johansen’s pictures are worth more than a thousand words. The German born, Swedish based photographer enjoys nothing more than manipulating the mind with his tantalizing visual imagery. His vivid imagination and surreal forms create brilliant pictures of surreal moments, all with a hint of the believable. Originally a computer engineering student, Johansson currently works on personal projects as well as commissioned ones.

(Continue Reading)

ghostboyfriend:

Live fast die young bad cats do it well

ghostboyfriend:

Live fast die young bad cats do it well

nightmarecircles:

Meeting your con friends out of costume

theuppitynegras:

here he is

image

greatleapingocelots:

Ryan and Colin throughout the years.

It’s almost 5am and my hypomania has kicked in.
It started on Monday and it’s been getting worse…or…better? I dunno which I prefer - having aLL THE ENERGY IN THE WORLD but not being able to utilize it and do anything productive (except for maybe cleaning the apartment), or being down in the dumps and wishing I had all my energy and creativity back. And when I actually DO tired during my hypomanic episodes, I’m too scared to sleep because I have vivid night terrors that scare the living fuck out of me.
But right now I am more awake than anyone has ever been awake in the history of being awake, but I would really like to get some sleep because I have a terrible headcold and I’m all pfffffsghneah.
I even took NyQuil and drank a bit tonight to help me sleep, but that was more of a nap since it only lasted for three hours (from 9 to midnight).
I want to do ALL the things!!! but I also want to curl up in a ball in bed and say, “Fuck doing things. Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you. I’m going to sleep.”

delicioustrap:

delicioustrap:

delicioustrap:

my dad just came into my room and laid on my bed so i proceeded to cover him in stuffed animals to cheer him up

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then mom joined

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if this reaches 100,000 notes i swear to gOD